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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Talking Turkey - Humor</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">This morning we want to talk about food. That's a relevant subject for most of us.<br>
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore, according to Andy Rooney, are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.<br>
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Orson Welles once said, "My doctor has advised me to give up those intimate little dinners for four, unless, of course, there are three other people eating with me."<br>
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Champion archer Rick McKinney confesses that he regularly eats chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. He refers to "the basic four food groups" as a Big Mac, fries, a shake and a lemon tart. A California scientist has computed that the average human being eats 16 times his or her own weight in an average year, while a horse eats only eight times its weight. This all seems to prove that if you want to lose weight, you should eat like a horse.<br>
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A young fellow watched as his dad finished a heavy meal and then loosened his belt. "Look, Mom," he said. "Pop's just moved his decimal point over two places."</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">King Duncan, Collected Sermons, </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a target="_blank" href="http://mail.churchmail.com/lists/lt.php?id=Kk8GBwQLCwFWDAxJAQcDAE5QW1YECA%3D%3D" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); text-decoration: none; cursor: pointer; font-size: 11px; font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">www.Sermons.com</span></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">________________</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Try Christianity</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The famous American editor, Horace Greeley, told of receiving a letter from a woman who wrote: "Our church is in dire financial straits. We've tried everything to keep it going: a strawberry festival, an oyster supper, a donkey party, a turkey dinner, and, finally, a box social. Will you please tells us, Dr. Greeley, how to keep a struggling church from disbanding?" Dr. Greeley wrote back to her a message in two words: Try Christianity!</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">What did he mean by that? Look at it in this way. The ancient world failed to help men and women meet the problem of life, because, although their wise men could teach, they could not supply the power to put it into practice. The Old Testament prophets could explain the Law of Moses, but were unable to provide the power needed to fulfill it. Then, into the midst of the ages, came this man Jesus and, before the wondering eyes of men and women, he declared, "I am the way, the truth, and the life." These people saw truth coming alive in his amazing personality; and, when his enemies finally killed him, his great spirit was liberated to be wherever needy souls cried out for him. In all the ages since, for all those who have received him as the bread of life by committing their lives to him, he has brought power over their every weakness, victory over every failure, and conduct and character that have made the world a better place in which to live.</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Donald MacLeod, Know the Way, Keep the Truth, Win the Life, CSS Publishing Company</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">_____________________________</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The Gratitude Attitude</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">In A Second Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul, Rev. John R. Ramsey tells how in one church a certain person provided him with a rose boutonniere for the lapel of his suit every Sunday. At first he really appreciated it but then it sort of became routine. Then one Sunday it became very special.</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">As he was leaving the Sunday Service a young boy walked up to him and said, "Sir, what are you going to do with your flower?" At first the preacher didn't know what the boy was talking about. When it sank in, he pointed to the rose on his lapel and asked the boy, "Do you mean this?"</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The boy said, "Yes, sir. If you're just going to throw it away, I would like it."</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">The preacher smiled and told him he could have the flower and then casually asked what he was going to do with it. The boy, who was probably no more than 10 years old, looked up at the preacher and said, "Sir, I'm going to give it to my granny. My mother and father divorced last year. I was living with my mother, but she married again, and wanted me to live with my father. I lived with him for a while, but he said I couldn't stay, so he sent me to live with my grandmother. She is so good to me. She cooks for me and takes care of me. She has been so good to me that I wanted to give her that pretty flower for loving me."</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">When the little boy finished, the preacher could hardly speak. His eyes filled with tears and he knew he had been touched by God. He reached up and unpinned the rose. With the flower in his hand, he looked at the boy and said, "Son, that is the nicest thing that I've ever heard but you can't have this flower because it's not enough. If you'll look in front of the pulpit, you'll see a big bouquet of flowers. Different families buy them for the Church each week. Please take those flowers to your granny because she deserves the very best."</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Then the boy made one last statement which Rev. Ramsey said he will always treasure. The boy said, "What a wonderful day! I asked for one flower but got a beautiful bouquet."</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">That's the thankful spirit. That's the gratitude attitude. And it's that attitude that should guide our giving and our lives. Like that boy's granny, God has blessed us so much. God has been so good to us that giving shouldn't even be a question. It should just flow from us naturally.</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">John R. Ramsey, Second Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Adapted by Billy D. Strayhorn, “The Gratitude Attitude"<br>
__________________</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Better Not Bitter</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">If we are not thankful then we can become bitter. If we are not thankful, then it becomes too easy to sit around and ponder the question: why me?</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dr. Jim Moore, pastor of St. Luke’s UMC in Houston wrote a book entitled "You Can Grow Bitter or You Can Grow Better". He writes that he got the idea for the title from a young woman who once came to him in a most tragic moment in her life. She had tears in her eyes and her knuckles were white as she twisted a handkerchief. She had just received word that her twenty-six year old husband had been killed in a farming accident, leaving her alone with three pre-school age children. One moment he was alive and vibrant, the next moment gone. "I don't know how I am going to be able to get along without him," she sobbed. "But I do know one thing. I can either get bitter or I can get better."</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">One way that we can get better rather than bitter is to develop a thankful heart. We must learn to be grateful to the Lord with whom we shall spend eternity. Our morning prayer should always begin: O Thou who has given me so much, I pray that you give me yet one more thing -- a grateful heart.</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">Staff, </span></span><u><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><a target="_blank" href="http://mail.churchmail.com/lists/lt.php?id=Kk8GBwQLCwFWDAxJAQcDAE5QW1YECA%3D%3D" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); text-decoration: none; cursor: pointer; font-size: 11px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">www.Sermons.com</span></a></span></u><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">.</span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-size: 11px; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: verdana, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">_________________</span></span></div>
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